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Uncle Wolfy speaks
February 8, 2001

Hello, you pitiful sample of human being.
Wasting your time visiting this site?. Is this an example of modern times? Boys and girls controled by media cannot find a better way to spend their times than connectiong to this coff, coff...wonder of communications that is the Internet. 
Anyway; I?m part of it too. I use it like you do. Well, maybe not in such an addicted manner. 

What the hell am I doing here, is probably the question crossing your mind, if you have one. Well, in case you didn?t know I am a member of the staff of this pathetic attempt of a Zelda site, and somebody whose name end with X has given me a section of my own. Anyway, I have decided to get down from my throne for a while to chat with ya. Yes,... I have some things to say and you will listen(*)  to me now, cause this is a new section starring me and nobody else than me. Live with it.

Cause I?m such a nice guy I will allow myself to start first. Am I ready? Yes, I am. Good. So, let?s get started. Sure, thanks.



A look into the beloved-behated HTLOZ boards...

Let?s see... What is this? People fighting in a Message Board? Worst of all, inside a ZELDA message board??? Pathetic. Simply pathetic. 

But wait! There?s more. What kind of Zelda fans are those? whinning and crying like those little babies I see on "Rugrats" every saturday; "Oh, spammers, oh my... spammers all over... where?s the moderator?"

What the loved hell! Boys acting like little girls, regulars posting stuff against the moderators! What?s this? what?s this? (Imagine the scene of "A Nightmare before Christmas" but instead of Jack imagine me in his place)

I don?t believe this. Some of them have spent all their social life inside that message board,... not a pretty concept... and have been complaining and insulting the people who opened the board... that is, that created their social life? 
What-is-this???!!! (Imagine again...)

What wait, there?s even more... and this is kinda funny. 

The editor of this site has decided to close down the main message board... and here comes the funny part. The editor pressed a button, but didn?t actually shutted down the board... he actually shutted down some of those peoples lives!!!

I was supposed to laugh here, (the script says so) but I will not. This is too sad, even for me...

I remember having received E-mails from certain people, especially the spammers that have spent their lives causing trouble inside a board, cause they are not even good at bulling guys in real life. Those E-mails were something like this one: 


"I know we used to hate you and wanted you to shut the zelda community board, and now you have. Listen i have nothing against you but you have to open it again. we are bored and are leaving. please, i know we put you down in the past, but this boards up's n' down's have served as a living spot. i know we complained but it just isn't the same."


A sad moment for some people... but actually, who cares?




Square wants to develop for Nintendo, 
but Yamauchi says: go to hell!

Oh yes, that?s the kind of attitude I like. This man is da masta. He?s immortal and invincible. Yes, my style indeed. Long live Yamauchi. (Now, here comes the hate mail of those who love Squaresoft and his eternal series of boring and uninspired RPG?s....)


The president of Nintendo suggested that a contract with Square may never happen,... in few words this is, more or less, what the president said:


"Square developing for Nintendo?, over my dead body!"

Now, before you get your snipper rifle and go after the man, that was NOT what he actually said... but sorta.


On the other hand, Square said something like this...

"We want to develop for Nintendo, but unless we make at least two games for the GAMECUBE then Nintendo will not allow us to participate"


Now, I don?t care too much about Square. They have spent their lives making CG videos, not games. Ah yes, they made two games for the PS2, yes, I remember... something like... "The Bouncer" and "Driving emotion". Did they succeed? NO. Bad games, too bad. 

Good luck on making movies cause that?s what you guys do. 



GAMECUBE playable at E3

Yes, that?s true. Hey, don?t ask me where I got the info, I know my sources and this is not the moment to mention them. You will have to believe me. Yes, the Gamecube will be playable at the E3. Hopefully Nintendo will show the true potential of that amazing gaming system. Let?s have Bill Gates? butt kicked, shall we? 
I will not get into another Xbox discussion, because there?s nothing to discuss here. Xbox... SUX, and that?s the end of it.


At the end...

Pathetic. Human life is pathetic, and so are you!
Cya in hell, batos!


Wolfhang Van Kraus

(*)- Actually you can?t listen, but read. 

Hate mail to Uncle Wolfy (Part 2)
February 12, 2001

Finally, the Dark side has won again. Wha ha ha (Imagine emperor Palpatine laughing his jedi socks off). From now on... YOU WILL RULE AT MY SIDE!!! 

I'm not one of the wimps that were fighting in the chat rooms, I
haven't even been to the chat rooms once. so since they're closed
then I guess you had good reason to ,so, keep them closed! It's not
my loss. I don't care who I affend as long as I'm happy. See ya round.

Law Mail



Yes! I like this guy. He doesn?t care cause he?s not affected. Just like 90% of the people visiting this site.
Because... WHO CARES about anything?

*ahem* 

I know these people (Jago,Mitch2, Princess Z) And i know that those 
were fake. (I'm not sure about Mitch's though...he's wierd!) Anywho, I 
just wanted people to know the truth! And the reason you shut down the MB is because You (Falco-X) didn't want to see anyone happy. You enjoyed all the "I-hate you" topics. And.........THE BACKSTREET BOYS ARE BETTER THEN YOU ARE!!! 

Cute_Lil_Kitty...blah blah blah 




Do you have any idea of how many Princesses Zelda, Jagos, Fulgores, Marios, Links, Ganons, etc are registered in our message boards? There are hundreds! So I have two wors for ya....
SHUT (first word) UP! (second word). 

Something else, if you want to email the editor just send HIM an email, not ME. DUH. 

rock man 
eres el mejor 
hell yea
and all the people get a live "buu buu iii can?t live without the 
community board buu buu snif .. sinf" 

salgan m?s seguido 

master of the dark world



Gracias. Yes they should get out more often. Don?t worry, they now have time to do so... unless they want to devote their lives to another message board. 

You rule man! at last somebody that speaks the truth about things! THUMBS UP!

Anomalia



Well, you know... the truth is relative. Unless it is my truth. My trut is the REAL one. And that?s all about that. 

I think square blows dogs for quarters. I bet Square's staff likes smoking dirty tampons in their freetime. Final Fantasy is a frickin joke."It's my turn to hit him and then it's his turn to hit me", yeah right. 
Wolfgang, you're my posse. Yeah dawg. ( I'm not black either). But once I get Gamecube, if there is a square game for it, I'll make it my bitch. Yeah dawg.
Yeah........

Sean



You have seen the truth! It is time for people to open their eyes. Square has no chance against real RPG makers like SEGA and NINTENDO. Once you play a SEGA rpg like... for example PHANTASY STAR ONLINE, you realize how blind Sony fan boys have been. I?m sorry for them, but it?s time to teach them the truth! 

Sweet, another wolf on the dark side. I recently found the site and i love it. As for the square thing, squaresoft can GO TO HELL! All you people who  want the boards back? GO TO HELL! I agree with ya, Wolf, and stand by the  dark side 100%. And if ya got a problem with me, GO TO HELL! I'LL MEET YA 
THERE!

Bob Mac, Champion of the Multiverse



I?m glad you love the site. Although... I wouldn?t really mind if you hated the site as long as you visited it! 
LET?S GO TO HELL ALL TOGETHER! 

hello, sorry but i don't speak english... 

tu tienes toda la razon square apesta y por pura envidia quiere sacar sus estupidos rpg's. todos son lo mismo, pura mie***, sin sentido ni una buena historia... no se como "ff" es tan "popular" (barato) si es una cochinada, con solo verlo me mareo, de lo estupido que esta, me aburre y me hace dormir... ojala nunca se le ocurra a Nintendo trabajar con squaresoft. 

LEON 


Do I need to translate the anger contained in this Email? Is it necessary to explain you how this guy hates the Final Fantasy series? I guess not.
BIENVENIDO AL LADO OBSCURO!

I'll bet when I send this to you, your probably going to insult me in 
some way, me being one of the Square fans that love their "boring and 
uninspired RPGs", but I'll try anyway. First off, I wouldn't call this a 
hate mail, but an arguement mail. Now, what do you have against Sqaure? 
They make really good games, at least in just about everybodies opinion but yours. 
I know people who actually switched from Nintendo to Sony for the sole reason that Sqaure decided to develope games for the playstation console. And tell me, if their RPGs are so boring and uninspired, why are they the biggest RPG company in the world? Personally, I'm hoping that Yamauchi will reconsider, which is probably never going to happen. Once he's spoken, he's spoken. 
Now, go ahead, I'm ready for anything you have to throw at me. 

Zach 

(Oh yes, one other thing, I have never played a Playstation (1 or 2) game in my life. Never have, and never will. I make do with the PC versions of Squares games. And yes, I do have a life)) 




You know what the funny part is? You not only visited a ZELDA site, but you read a ZELDA site article and Emailed the editor of a ZELDA site. On a final word, if you like the Final Fantasy series... what the loved hell are you doing here??? 

All the FinalFantasy games on SNES and NES and Zelda sucks ass compared to Final Fantasy (What is he saying???) . The weapons are gay peices of shit. The story line is allways the same thing over and over! Only about 2 others I can think of are any different. The bosses are gay little idiots. No real weapons. Majora's Mask 
was a discrace to nintendo. And they F*CKED up the story line. AND BACK TO FINAL FANTASY (Wow, that was fast). Tell me how many copies of FinalFantasy Anthology (FF X-XI) were sold compared to The Square ones? (Final Fantasy Tactics-FFVII-FFIX) 
The games are longer too and better in every way I can think of. And tell me? Where the hell does Link keep all his tools like his bow. Megaton 
hammer, Great fairy sword (ect) does he pull em out of his ass or 
something? 
And another thing that new pic of Talon in the new Offical Zelda Art looks like an even more retarded version of Mario. But then agian... now that I  think about it Zelda is for the more inferrior game playing community (So what are you doing in a Zelda site?). 
After all how often do you see a Ninetendo games above Everone or Teen? 

Tidus of The Final Fantasy



I feel your anger... but only that cause I just don?t understand what you wanted to say...

Hi Wolfang,you seem like a cool guy and you dont take crap from anybody, (except maybe your boss) and your really stubborn, I love it! 
Anyway's, are you really a Zelda fan, or is it just your job to be one?And the message board is not my life, I've never even been on it. Please e-mail me on AOL at (---), and if your too lazy (if you are), try to. 

Zeldaguru13



I?m a videogame fan. Yes I like good games that?s why I like Zelda and in general Nintendo / Sega games.  I?m smarter than many out there who are paying $$$ for crappy games and systems (PS2 anyone?)

Ever since you opened the Zelda community board, you have gotten a wholebunch of posts from us. Why would you just close it down. You are just hurting yourself, because now, you will not get as many visits. Nice job,
dumbass.

TheXByte



A small scratch does not hurt the whole BODY. Do you have any idea of how many Zelda fans visit this site everyday and still enjoy the site? I guess not...
Yes, it was a nice job, indeed >:)

How can you say squaresoft sucks, did you ever play FF3 ? Or are you only refering to the new crap.

Yomar99



As you said: "The new crap".

Wolfhang, you are the only god I've ever known. The only god I will ever know. Sacrifice me...

Matthew



(Now imagine the scene of Batman and Robin where Jim Carrey (The Riddler) says:
"I?m now... a GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!" 

Hate mail to Uncle Wolfy (Part 1)
February 9, 2001

Hey Wolfhang!
Please man, give us a break! I promise I will be a nice guy from now on, please let us in the boards again!!!
I know what you will say, that we have no lives, that we need mental help or something, but please let us in!!!
Marcus


You have no life.

What happened to the boards? I want to go back to the community, please let me in!!!
Aika


Mmmm... NO.

Hey dude, tell Falco-X that he?s a moron, and if he thinks that by doing this we are going to lower ourselves to pray, he?s wrong!
Jago



Is he wrong? If so, what are you doing?

That board was my life!!! I need to go back in! will you allow me to? I promise I will never E-mail you again with complains!
Princess Z


Too late, wha ha ha!

Dear editors of this prestigious Zelda site. 
I was trying to get into your community forum but it wont allow me for some reason. Am I banned? If so, why? 
I?m a great fan of your site and would like to participate. Thanks!
Andrea



Oh yes, an innocent. We are very sorry, but so far there are no plans of bringing that board back. Maybe in the future.

I just have one thing to say:
You are so cool.
Mitch2

Yes, I know. Thanks anyway

You have an inferiority complex, don't you?
Batlover4

No, and you?

You call your self a zelda fan thers only one word for you well 2 you
sux!!!!!!!!!
Yitsonvegh

Theres only one word for you well 2 YOU TOO! 

Square can?t go to hell. They must develop their RPGS for Nintendo or Nintendo will fail.
Nickel

Whatever... NEXT ONE

I hate you Uncle Wolfy!!! Go to hell!
Angel

Thanks, I?m already there. 

Final Fantasy is a great game and saquare must produce games for the Cube. If you don?t like the company its your problem but Sony succeeded because of square and the final fantasy games. period.
Chester

Final fantasy succeeded because of Nintendo and the SUPERNES. period. 

I hate you, go to hell. bill gates sucks, bill gates,go to hell. xbox sucks, xbox go to hell. uhm this picture sucks, send it to hell. 
(picture enclosed)
Richard

Oh my, I was prepared for everything but this! 

Yes... I-can-feel-your-anger... wha ha ha!
One more hate mail and your journey to the Dark side will be complete! 
Send me your stupid thoughts to wolfhang@htloz.com  and I?ll be glad to throw them in the trash can, or post them here just for fun.